When Your Best Friend is a Sociopath

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Many of my friends warned me. Even my ex warned me, that this friend was dangerous. That she should not be trusted. But the one fault I had, was always looking for the best in people. Giving the benefit of the doubt without a second guess.

It had been almost ten years of friendship, and I was the type of friend that would go to war if someone only gave them a bad look. I had been single for three years and was not even looking for a relationship, but then it happened. I liked him instantly; I knew I shouldn’t but I did. I couldn’t help it. And as most girls do, when you have a new crush, you tell your best friend. Now I know that was the biggest mistake of my life.

My best friend was everything I wasn’t. She was shapely, flirty, girly, and anything most guys would go for. She was the girl that drew all the guys’ attention when we walked down the street. I was never any competition, and she knew it. Stupidly, thinking she valued me as much as I valued her, I introduced her to my crush. She was my bestie, and I wanted her to know who the guy was that had finally grabbed my attention. Besides, she was working in the same area as him, so I knew it would only be a short while until their paths crossed.

Then the lies started. I had never told my crush that I liked him, never asked for his number, I wanted to take things slow, I had gotten my heart broken before. So I asked her, “How is he? Did he ever give you his number?” And as easy as breathing she said, “No. I never see him.” We were sitting in my living room because she practically lived at my house. Then she suddenly said, “Oh he just told me to give you his number.” You see, that’s the thing with liars, they always make a mistake, and that was hers.

I found out that she had been talking to him for months, and she told me she didn’t like him that she just didn’t want to hurt my feelings. So I forgave her. The guy and I started talking, and then he told me that he had kissed my best friend before he knew I liked him. When I confronted her about it, she flipped it on me and asked me how I could let a guy come between us. My whole argument had been, if you like him, have him but just don’t lie to me; but she couldn’t see that. After a while she said that was all that happened and she was sorry she just didn’t want to hurt me, so again I forgave.

A year had passed, and before we knew it the guy and I fell for each other. My best friend and I were still going strong until I found out. A mutual friend of ours told me that she had slept with my boyfriend. And just like that my world shattered. At this point, I knew she would just lie, so I asked him, and he told me it was true. The kiss wasn’t just a kiss, and it didn’t happen just one time. He said that she told him never to tell me and that the reason she stopped being friends with him was because he told me they had kissed.

I had heard of people sleeping with their best friend’s guy before; but to me every time I’d heard it the person would tell me, that the guilty person would move differently around them. They would create distance or behave in a shady manner and the truth would be revealed. But not with her. The thing was even though it happened before we got together, my best friend; slept on my bed, laughed with me, ate my food, and listened to me talk about how much I liked him, all the while going and sleeping with him five minutes away.

It would have been one thing if she really liked him and couldn’t help herself, but that wasn’t it. She didn’t like him, and she was seeing other guys at the time. Remember, she could have any guy, but she chose him. Knowing I liked him, she chose him.

I was so done. I didn’t want anything to do with any of them. Once again, being the type of person I am, I didn’t just want to lock her off. I wanted to go about it the right way. So I invited her over for the last of her things and I told her what I had found out. Without batting an eye, she told me that it was all false and that if I didn’t believe her she would understand. She didn’t admit to anything and again made me feel guilty for not believing her, then she left.

No guilt, no remorse, no shame, liar, superficial charm, poor judgment, failure to learn from experiences; these were all the things that described my best friend and characterized a sociopath. She would make me feel bad to get the attention off of her when she did something wrong. She drained me, and I gave and gave until I had nothing left to give. She hurt me and it seemed as easy as waking up in the morning.
If you have a toxic relationship, whether it be friendships or relationships, learn from me and cut the cord. Sacrificing your happiness and peace of mind is not worth it. It’s going to be hard to move on and to let go, but unless you are willing to keep the same cycle repeating itself with you always on the losing end, you are going to have to be the one to end it.

~dXd

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