Blindfold

Photo Credit: Netflix Bird Box

I lost a friend last week to Sickle Cell Disease. She was 25 years old. All of her friends and family knew that she was constantly in and out of the hospital. We knew she was in pain but we closed our eyes to it and said, “Keep fighting, you’re so strong. You’ll be better soon.” It was in her last moments that she spoke and asked for one thing, for us to open our eyes to her reality.

Daily, we wear these blindfolds of naivety that shield us from the uncomfortable truth of people’s reality. We pass the man begging for food on the side of the road as if he’s invisible. Not caring that he is still a human being with a story that probably took a wrong turn. No, instead we treat our pet with more respect and dignity. We pretend not to see when someone is being abused because it’s just not our business. It’s not for us to get involved, because if they really wanted to they would just leave. As if it’s ever that simple. When a friend needs a shoulder to cry on, we rather give them weightless comforting words that only comfort ourselves, than sit with them in their sorrow and acknowledge their hurt. And when someone dies, we distance ourselves from the awkwardness, pain, and heartbreak that comes with loss. Most people don’t know the right thing to say and simply say, “I’m sorry for your loss,” as if that would suffice and then keep it pushing. It’s when loss hits home, that’s often what makes us stop. It freezes time for those impacted even when everyone else moves on.

We’ve become so superficial. Everyone wants to laugh together, but a true bond is formed when you are able to cry together. No, we would never completely understand what someone else is going through. Still, we can remove our blindfold and open our eyes to see the crosses they’re bearing. You don’t have to fix their problems because they make you uneasy. Instead of saying “I’m sorry for your loss” try asking “What do you need?” Instead of “What’s wrong with her?” try “What has she been through?” Just be present. Truly present, eyes open.